Amazing Love

A few nights ago Jonathan and I went to see "The Vow." We both enjoyed it, but found it to be very different than what we had expected. The actual movie has little to do with this post, but I felt I needed to mention it because it was the instigator to a conversation we had at dinner after the movie and a moment of epiphany in our marriage.

Let me start from the beginning...the beginning of our current situation that is. Well, no, lets start from the actual beginning. Approximately 11 years ago Jonathan and I started dating. The vast majority of our relationship was long distance. He was in NC at App State and I was in Columbia at USC. As we dated, were engaged, and then newly married we went through all the stuff that any other couple goes through. We were head over heels in love. We wanted to spend every waking moment together and truly looked forward to seeing each other at the end of a busy day. There was passion and romance in many forms. We would see each other across the room and give a knowing smile that was meant just for each other. We had not yet reached the point in our relationship where little things about each other bothered us. (You know those things that were cute or no big deal before?)

Then, like many other relationships, time passes and life takes over. Life became routine. Five years passed and we added Nolan to the mix and life became crazy. Two more years pass and we add Reagan to our family and now life is all about survival. Jonathan is working long hours at a job that has several negative aspects (although there are positive ones as well). I am adjusting to being at home full time as well as having a two year old that tests boundaries at every turn. Not to mention also having an infant that is not sleeping through the night. It had gotten to the point that even the smallest romantic gesture took too much time and effort. We used to leave each other sweet notes or text/call several times a day. That was a thing of the past.

Many times the only conversation we even have on any given day was "good bye" in the morning, small talk at dinner, and "good night" at bedtime. Of course that wasn't every day, but often enough that we began to notice an emotional rift between us. About a week ago (two nights before we went to the movies) we ended up having a very long conversation (not a fight because no voices were raised and very few accusations were made) about the emotional distance we were experiencing. It was apparent that we could not continue on the same path or things were going to get worse. I honestly can't remember our exact conversation, but I distinctly remember voicing that I felt like the major issue that contributed to all other issues is our lack of effective communication. I also remember how nice it was to actually have a conversation with my husband.

So skip ahead a couple evenings and we were eating dinner after the movie. I asked Jonathan what he thought of it (seeing as how it was a chick flick and he doesn't usually enjoy them. I was really surprised when he agreed to go with me). He said that it showed him two things that were sadly and seriously lacking in our relationship. Very intrigued I asked him to explain. He said, "first of all, we need to live every single day like that guy in the movie did. We need to love each other every day as if it is our last day to be together. Secondly, I need to love you in a way that shows you I accept you for who you are rather than in a manipulative way." I asked him to clarify what he meant by manipulative love. He explained, "instead of suggesting you do things a certain way, I should just accept they way you do them. Specifically, small things like putting your clothes away or taking forever to get ready for bed" (that would be some of those things that used to be no big deal early in marriage). As he finished explaining I stared at him almost in disbelief. Here we are, over seven and a half years into this marriage; in a marital valley, so to speak, and my husband says this to me.

In that moment it was so very clear to me that my husband loves me. Not the mushy, lovey dovey kind of love. Not the passionate, transient, newly married kind of love. But the never-ending, God given, I am choosing to do this kind of love. The kind of love it takes to make a marriage last even when there are emotional rifts, crazy busy schedules, and at times lack of communication. What a humbling moment! What an epiphany that we can choose to love each other this way in order fulfill our vows to each other and to honor what God has done for us. God chooses to love us despite all we do to disappoint him. God IS Love. Jonathan and I are choosing to love each other in a self-sacrificial, non-manipulative way that will help our marriage endure.

Now don't get me wrong. We are no marriage experts and I am positive that we will mess up in the future. But at this point in time, I have more confidence in my husband's love for me, my love for him, and our marriage than ever before. Praise God!

Our Wedding Day!

Still just as in love today...just with a little more effort!

"My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife"

So I finished the first book on my list a while back and have been mulling over all that I got out of it. The authors life story is slightly different than my own, but her one year experiment to become a better wife and mother go right along with my goals for this year. She had some great insight and revelations that I will share with you.
First of all, I don't know about you other women out there, but I have always had a double opinion about the Proverbs 31 woman. On the one hand, she is quite amazing and I very much want to be just like her. She is an inspiration and because she is in the Bible, and the Bible is the word of God, she is what I am supposed to be like. On the other hand, I feel it is completely unattainable to be like the Proverbs 31 women. She is pretty much the perfrect woman. I have admittedly questioned if she was even a real person or not. I mean who can do all that she does and maintain such composure?
For those of you not familiar with this scripture (and even those who are) let me show you what I mean.

A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still night;

she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.

She considers a field and buys it;

out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverngs for her bed;

she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,

and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Honor her for all that her hands have done,

and let her works bring her priase at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:10-31

Ummm...yeah. Where do I even start? It would take FOREVER to talk about each verse, but let me tell you some of the ones that spoke to me the loudest.

Verse 12: "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." Oh goodness...do I do bring Jonathan only good and no harm (I asked myself)? I really don't think I can claim that. I meant don't get me wrong, I don't put him in physical danger or anything, but I do ocassionally raise my voice when I am upset and say accusatory words when I feel defensive. Unfortunately those things can be called harmful. Harmful to his pride and his confidence. So I put that one of my list to focus on.

Here is what Sara Horn (author of "My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife") had to say. "It's hard to get uptight or fed up with someone when you're constantly taking him to God in prayer. Prayer helps. It's a good reminder I am not in control." So I am certainly looking forward to reading "The Power of a Praying Wife" to learn better how to pray for my husband daily. He deserves better from me and I am called to be better. If praying for him helps me do that, then so be it, that's what I'll do.

Also, "Maybe marriage is one big challenge or opportunity to love someone better than I love myself, a chance fr me to get just a taste of what it is for God to love the whole world so much that he allowed his Son to die for us."

Lastly, "...as women we have extreme influence on our men. For good or for bad...our words make such a difference." So true. Something to remember every time I feel the urge to speak out in defense.

Verse 19: "She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." Well, I volunteer at the free clinic once a month and I deliver food to underpriveledged families for our church when needed. But do those things really count? Is that really what God wants from me? I have a strong desire to give, but I often find myself consulting the check book to make sure I am able to give instead of just believing God will provide regardless of what I give. So I can put that one on the list also.

Verse 25: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Oh goodness...I am not sure about this one. Lots of days I cringe at the days to come. Nolan is certainly behaving as most two and a half year olds do and it is challenging even on good days. Do I have stregnth and dignity? I would like to. Here is what Sara Horn had to say: "If I carry strength each day, then I will meet each task with confidence. If I carry dignity each day, then I will meet each task with commitment." Ok, so that sounds more doable. I need to be confident that I can carry out each individual task that comes up during the day and be committed to each task rather than say "I'll get to it later." This also means being completely committed to being consistent with Nolan. This is very hard!

Verse 26: "She speaks with wisdom, and instruction is on her tongue." I so badly want to do this one. It is my job to educate and instruct my children correctly. On the list it goes.

There are so many more I'd like to focus on, but these are a start. But oddly enough as I continued looking at my notes from this book I realized that I still have it all wrong. Yes, each of the things above are things I want to get better at. BUT...I'm going about it all the wrong way. Sara Horn says it far batter than I could. Here are her words:

"It's not about the doing. It's about the heart. And ultimately, when you go back and read Proverbs 31, it's not about the doing for her either. It's about fearing God. honoring God. Loving God. In whatever actions that pours out as.

Do we have a responsibility as moms and wives to our families? Of course. But our first responsibility is to God. And I don't think we can say 'We just need to balance.' Because sayig we need to balance implies making things equal. And God is not equal with anything. Or anyone. God comes first. Perod. And by placing him first, the rest comes together.

So all of these ambitions I had...all of them are nice, but none of them as important as what I do to honor God. How I live my life each day to honor him- through loving my husband, through loving my children...But God has to come first."

"And I don't have to 'do' so much in order to be."

AMEN! She is speaking right to me! I am the queen of "doing" things in order to improve. Hence my long reading list for this year. Not that I'm going to throw the list, or the books, out the window. But my new, bigger goal is to focus on God. Praying more often about even the smaller things in order to get through each day as the best Proverbs 31 woman I can be!

As I continue reading the notes I took, I may post some more on this subject later.

A quick FOK update: lost one and a half pounds this week. Some of the recipes were good and some not so much. A definite learning experience. Will post some good recipes soon.

Forks Over Knives (FOK) Update

Well, we made it through our first week of major dietary changes. The verdict so far: we have yet to go to bed hungry, we are eating higher quality and quantity of food than ever before, and most importantly, the taste of the food has been GREAT! Jonathan has been fully on board. I am very proud of him. We even went to Moe's and followed all the "rules." We each had the Art Vandalay on whole wheat tortilla. We got pinto and black beans, roasted corn, lettuce, sauteed onions, peppers, mushrooms, pico de gallo, and rice (don't know if it is brown rice, so I guess that might not have completely followed the "rules"). We added spicy salsa from the salsa bar and it was DELICIOUS. I really thought I would miss the sour cream and cheese, but I didn't at all! So far so good!

And to top it all off...I lost FOUR pounds this week! Yay! Even if I wasn't enjoying the food (which I am) that is great incentive to keep going. I know that my family is becoming healthier by the day! Can't say it has been all easy, but we are fully committed. Yesterday I was craving "old" food (ie: Chicken Pot Pie and Yogurt Mountain). But I persevered and didn't give in. Lots of will power being used here!

So what is to come this week? Gnocchi with "Meat" Sauce, Creamy Noodle Casserole, Veggie Stir Fry over Brown Rice, Zingy Italian White Bean Soup, and Layered Tex-Mex Lasagna. Yummy Right? Here is a picture of one of the dishes we had last week: Veggie Delish Pasta Dish. Yummy sauteed onions, mushrooms, green bell pepper, orange bell pepper, carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, lots of spices, and balsamic vinegar all over whole wheat pasta. I ate almost every bit of this with no worries as to calorie counting because I knew every bite was nutritious!

So I finished the first book on my list, "My So-called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife," and will write about all I learned on the next post.

Meet Sweet Reagan

Meet Reagan!

Reagan is the newest member of our family at just over 3.5 months. Jonathan and I didn't think we wanted a girl originally...but oh what we would be missing if we didn't have our sweet Reagan. She is such a good baby (or maybe it's that we are second time parents). She has proven to be very laid back and easy going. She smiles and coos often which is completely contagious. You can't help but smile when she does.

Laughing!

She already loves her big brother and watches him as he rambunctiously roams the house. She has recently hit a big milestone: rolling over! She can easily go from back to belly in under one second. She doesn't exactly love her belly though, so she isn't too happy once she has rolled over. However, if I put her on her back again, she immediately rolls over to her belly. It's as if she can't help herself!

Reagan has also hit another HUGE milestone: sleeping through the night (Hallelujah)! It has only been two nights, but I am absolutely thrilled! I put her down around 10:00 PM and she gets up around 5:30 AM. Not too bad!

I am very close with my mom and am thrilled to have that same relationship with my little girl. One of my big goals this year is to gain wisdom in the area of parenting. I hope to use what I learn along with daily guidance from God to be a great mom to a girl (and hopefully avoid the drama of the tween and teen years)! I'll let you know how that goes :).

I'll introduce you to my charming toddler and handsome husband soon!

Forks Over Knives

So today marks a time of MAJOR change in our lives. Today we start working towards a lifestyle change that will make us healthier, trimmer, and that will increase our energy! It will protect us against heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and other chronic health problems. Sounds perfect huh? Well, I have a feeling it is going to be some work and a LOT of adjustment, especially on Jonathan's part. Today we start a lifestyle of eating only plant-based whole foods. What does that mean you ask? Well it means no animal products. That's right...no meat, no eggs, no milk, no cheese.
I know the looks a lot of you are giving me (through the computer) are of disbelief, disgust, and of why in the world? Well, I can say for our family it is a decision we made after watching the documentary Forks Over Knives. If you have Netflix you can find it in the movie section. It was very, very eye opening as far as what chemicals in animal products do to our body. And I am talking about naturally occurring chemicals, not the ones the we add (which are also very harmful).
So what do we eat if we can eat meat and dairy? Well, you would be amazed at all the foods out there other than meat and dairy. We will eats lots and lots of vegetables and fruits. We will eat a great deal of beans and legumes of all kinds. We will eat whole grains such as quinoa, brown rice, whole wheat pasta, whole wheat breads, whole wheat pita's and whole wheat wraps. We will eat hummus instead of mayo and mustard on sandwiches. We will eat oil free salad dressings (you would be amazed at how many recipes there are out there).
We certainly will not be starving that is for sure! In fact, we get to a whole lot MORE than most people because every calorie we put into our bodies is nutrient rich, versus the empty calories of the normal American diet. I am very excited about this new endeavor, but a little nervous too. I am married to a man who was raised on the meat and three mentality. However, I must say, he has been much more open to this than I expected.
I am sure you are asking..."What about eating out or eating at someones house?" Well, we have agreed that this lifestyle is what we will do when we are at home. We will never let it interfere with going to someones house to hang out. We wouldn't ever want to make it hard on someone else. And about twice a month we will probably eat out whatever we want. We do not intend to be so extreme that these changes take over our lives, but do intend to make the changes for the sake of our health.
So I HIGHLY recommend you watch the documentary Forks Over Knives as well as the Engine 2 Diet movie on Netflix. The Engine 2 video is made by Rip Esselstyn who is the son of one of the physicians who did the research for Forks Over Knives. Both movies are a wealth of knowledge and evidence-based information on eating a whole food, plant-based diet. I encourage you watch the videos and make a decision for yourself and your family.
So, what's for supper tonight? Veggie Chili....YUM! I'll keep you posted on how it is going, how much weight I lose, and of course, what are we eating.
Have a wonderful, blessed week!

Here are the links to the websites coordinating with the videos:
www.forksoverknives.com
www.engine2diet.com

Art Work Display

Well I finished my Pinterest inspired Art Display Area project. Now I can hang Nolan's numerous art works as well as my weekly schedule. I got this idea off of pinterest and it was incredibly simple. Slightly time consumming, but I think that is because I have a toddler and infant and had to stop several times. I have included instructions of how I made this project, but unfortunately I didn't take picutres along the way. Hopefully I will remember to do that on the next project. It probably cost me about $20 total.

Materials:

1x2x8 board

Spray paint in color of your choice (I used Valspar Satin Brown Velvet)

Large clips (Number needed depends on size of your boards)

Picture Hangers

Wood Glue

4 Nails (large enough to support your boards)

Hammer

Measuring Tape

Instructions:

Step 1) Cut boards to size according to your wall. My boards are 40 inches long each. I had a neighbor with a saw cut my boards, but the home improvement store will usualy cut them for free also.

Step 2) Spray paint each board according to directions on can (I did three coats).

Step 3) After last coat of paint is completely dry then put Picture hangers on the back of the boards according to where they need to hang on your wall (I did this after I glued my clips on and it was a little difficult so I recommend doing it prior to putting the clips on so the board will lay flat).

Step 4) Use wood glue to attach large clips evenly spaced along the board (this will vary depending on the length of your boards and how many clips you intend to use.

Step 5) Put nails in the wall in alignment with the picture hangers on the boards and hang your display boards.

Step 6) Display all your kids art work other things such as schedules, menus, etc.

Here is the completed project on one of my kitchen walls.  

Nolan proudly standing by his art work!

Here is a close up of the clips I used (they are actually magnetic clips, but they attached to the wood with wood glue without any problems. They came in a pack of three at Staples)

Hope you are inspirted to make an Art Display Area for your kids works of art! Let me know if you have any questions and I can clarify one of the steps if needed. Now on to another project for me. Not sure what it will be yet, but I'll let you know as soon as I do!

Who am I and why and I writing a blog?

Some who read this blog already know me, but if there are others out there who don't then I'll give you a quick backgroud (you will all probably get to know me better than you wanted after reading all the things I will blog about). I am wife to Jonathan, mother to Nolan (2.5 years old) and Reagan (3 months), and most importantly daughter of Christ. I "used to be" a Family Nurse Practitioner, but just started the new adventure of being a stay-at-home mom.

Why am I blogging you ask? Well, I have made a committment to become a better wife, mother, friend, and person in 2012. I don't think am particularly bad at any of these (except maybe the friend part, but I'll address that later), but I want to be more. I want to be more for my family and I want to be more like God. How do I plan to do this? Well for starters, I have a list of carfully chosen books to read this year that I feel will significantly help me reach my goals (see future blog post). Below is a list of the books I will be reading, and I intend to blog about what I learn from each as I go. My hope is that I will give encouragment to others out there struggling with the same things I am. I also hope to give insight, as I get it, by reading the books and through what God is showing me through reading them.

On another note, I am an organziation freak! I love to be organized (although am not always successful) and make lists, tables, etc. that will keep me that way. I was introduced to Pinterest a few months ago and now an admitted addict. I have already completed several projects and will be working on more. I intend to blog about these projects also.

Lastly, there a few medical/health topics that I feel are very relevant and important which I will likely post about occassionally as I am still on the outskirts of the medical profession.

So in conclusion this blog will contain posts on my family, insight I get through reading and prayer, craft and organization projects, and the occassional medical issue. I hope you enjoy it and gain encouragment through my journey.

Book List: